welcome to my website! You are going to learn about impossible things to do!

Step one

Buy some bacon at the store. Cook and eat the unholy pig meat.
You can put on any seasonings to satify your taste buds.
It doesent have to be bacon, but bacon is preferred over pork.
BTW correctlly cooked bacon should look something like this.

Step two

You must make an almighty pork shrine to the
Almighty Pig God or you will
die (previously mentioned). This is one of the
most important steps so you should probably do it.
P.S. the shrine can have any design (pig realated)
and any shape.

Step three

Never say the forbidden word. FYI the forbidden word
is stubby . You will be killed if you say
that word. The reason why is because the Almighty Pig God hates
that word. FYI the person previously telling you this died, I am new.

Step Four

And also if you can read this

You will be an admin for the Almighty Pig God which, means you design his websites, and you have unlimited internet.

And thats all you need to know about the Almighty Pig God And his followers.

Okay before we get started you have to have the following supplies

an anvil

a hammer

locking pliers

saftey glasses

gloves

a bucket

vacuum cleaner

an apron
(if needed)

and a forge
(if you can't get a forge you can also get a flamethrower)

and the more important/harder stuff to get.

a cauldron

a brewing stick

and some Acid

Okay lets get to work.

First you should probably get a buddy. You don't have
to but it is advised.Next you should set up your stuff
(outside is recomended). Now get an iron ingot and put it in
your forge (or use your flamethrower) to heat it up. Then grab the
iron with your locking plires, hit it with your hammer and drop it in
the bucket full of cold water. Rinse and reapeat untill it becomes a sword.

The sword should look something like this.

Okay now prepare your selves. Because the things you have to do are pretty
hard, intense, and sometimes gory. So if you don't want to go ahead, don't but
if you are watch these videos to prepare your selves.

The Prepeation Video

And another one now

Another Preparation Video

This is a cool one

One cool video

This is the last one. Promise

So this one is pretty cute

okay lets get to work. now we are going to make a crystal sword.
So we are going to the forest on Jupiter. Be carefull. Going to
jupiter is very hard. First you going to have to build (or buy) a teleporter.
You can buy a teleporter from a wizard. I reccommened this one.

Anyways lets get back to work. Next if you are building
a teleporter. You will need some oxtophilite. After that just
throw it on the ground until it brakes and it will become a teleporter.
Next you are going to need a suit. A suit that can cancel gravity. read
this text below to learn on how to get, or make, one of those suits.

Once you get one of those suits (and when you are wearing it), you can go
to the forest on Jupiter. Once you are there you are going to kill this kind
of orc below.

and also they sound like this *sound coming soon*

Once you do, grab it's cold dead fingers. And since they live on Jupiter their
fingers get compressed into crystals. The exact ones we need, so you got to grab them.
You need 30 and each orc has 10 fingers, so kill at least three before you leave. In
reality you should kill more, because if their fingers get to compressed, they fall of.
And they do rituals that involve cutting of their own fingers to apease their gods. Anyways
when you get back home, take a break, watch this video!

This is the video you can watch!

Okay now that you are back, you have to melt the crytal fingers into one giant crystal.
Once you have done that you get a sword handle. Once you get the sword handle dip the crystal
ball in the acid (preferably sulphuric acid) and the part you dipped in the acid, put it
directly on the top of the sword handle. Wait until the top of the sword handle and the
crystal ball can't come apart, then heat up the crystal ball. Once heated up enough, you
can roll the crystal ball into a top of sword shape and voila. You got your very own crystal
sword! Just so you know if you correctly made the sword it will look something like this. But
with a different handle.

And as always, another video for you to calm down to, right below this text.

another calming down video